So Far From Reality: My Application to Bravo's "Hawaii Elite"

It has been quite awhile since I have made a blog post, but to sum things up in a nutshell: we finally gathered up our keiki (kiddos) and made a jam packed Boeing 737 endure us for 6 hours during our one way flight to Hawaii!  Yep, we have finally started our new chapter of life here in Oahu and we could not be happier.  But the reason for today's post all stemmed from my love of Hawaii news and their headliners (or lack there of).  Only so much can happen on a island but this morning, the top stories consisted of the University of Hawaii's commencement ceremonies (congrats to all the new alumni) and drum roll please...the calling of Hawaii's "elite" for Bravo's new show.

Being a BIG fan of Bravo's Real Housewives Series, which is my guilty pleasure, I am honestly excited that I finally live in a state worthy of having a housewives series!  As Melissa Gorga likes to say at the beginning of each RHONJ episode, "I live a life only one dreams of", I definitely do not live that dream per se and therefore will probably never qualify for any Real Housewives series.  But just for S and G's, here is what I imagine my application for the casting call would be:

Dearest Andy Cohen and BravoTV:
While I probably do not qualify for your definition of "elite", I would think I am a great fit for your possible upcoming Real Housewives of Honolulu County for the following reasons:

• I am currently a stay at home mom to two wonderful sons and an amazing daughter (think Caroline Manzo)
• My family's net worth is similar to the following housewives: Michaele Salahi, Lynn Curtin, and Lauri Waring Peterson (pre-George of course).
• My breasts are fake and my stance on breast augmentations is as follows: it should be included in healthcare as a post-partum option.
• I have a strained  and essentially nonexistent relationship with my SIL that could rival the Gorga-Guidice's
• Instead of flipping tables, many doors and cell phones have become victim to my short Filipino temper

In addition to my real housewife resemblances, I feel I could bring more to the show.  Being that we just moved to Oahu, I feel a strong connection to Kathy Griffin and her life on the D-list with my life on the Z-list.  I am very impatient which causes me to flip out like Jeffery Lewis.  My BravoTV role model is Bethenny Frankel and I feel our personalities and parenting styles are very similar.  So it could be safe to say, that I encompass all that is Bravo.

Just have the cameras follow me for one day and you will see a different type of real housewife that Honolulu has to offer.  As a housewife I can show you how:

• I have only successfully made a mess in the kitchen
• Not to react when your kid fall into a koi pond
• to maneuver island life and the roads and traffic of this island all while fighting my GPS and Siri
• life with three kids in a 1200sf condo can be

Although I may not qualify for Real Housewives of Honolulu County (or whatever name you decide), I hope you would keep me in mind if you ever decide to  showcase the Real Broke Housewife.

Thanks again for your time.

Sincerely,

VB

What do you think?  I know you are thinking: "stick to your day job as a engineer".  Okay okay, I will...

Baby Gizmo (and Their Giveaways)

I will admit when I think of product reviews I automatically default to Consumer Reports.  But who wants to pay for a subscription nowadays when you can find anything on the world wide web?  I always rely on others' reviews regarding baby products so I was ecstatic to find babygizmo.com.  The best part, they currently have weekly giveaways so I highly suggest checking it out and entering the giveaway...who doesn't like to win something?

http://blog.babygizmo.com/2012/02/baby-gizmo-giant-weekly-giveaway-simmons-kids-tour-buggy/

I Probably Need To...

...get the platinum spoon out of my ass.  I mean I wasn't born with it but as time passed with me being an only child, I managed to apparently get one stuck up there?!?  The list below are a few things my husband pointed out during our last disagreement when he was trying to pull me down from the high horse I was apparently riding on:

• The diaper bags have cost at least $200 (yes, plural)
• God forbid I have to be seen pushing my kid in a Graco or Evenflo stroller or better yet a travel system
• Only Britax or Diono car seats are allowed in my car
• After 3 kids I am still not willing to give up my nazi sleigh
• Even though all bottles are BPA free nowadays, I still swear by the Born Free bottles.

In my defense, I think his definition of high maintenance is misconstrued and had to point out how much worst of a high maintenance mother one could be:

• Requires anything that comes in contact with the kids must be "organic" (ie- toys, clothes, food, etc.)
• Refuses to buy baby food but instead make it themselves
• Needs multiple nannies for each kid
• Having the urge to adopt a child after requiring the previous bullet point
• Only allowing an OB who studied at an Ivy League school deliver your baby

Before you wonder if individuals that demand the last few bullet points actually exist, they do...and sadly enough, we know those individuals on a personal level.  Needless to say, my husband walked away shaking his head...I think I won that argument.  Besides, I still blame my brand whore tendencies on being Filipino.

Poll: How Mad Would One Get...

...if someone threw your stuff away in the garbage without asking you if it needed to be thrown away?  In this case, it was a bag.  Just saying...I did just get the bag the night before and it was thrown away in the morning.

If you answered: irate; then welcome to the club!

Who Likes the New Target.com Website?

I will admit that I am not a big fan of the new Target website.  Call me old fashioned but I was just finally getting adapted to the new Nordstroms website and now Target had to do a major overhaul?  I have warmed up to the Nordstroms website but I definitely am NOT a fan of the new Target website for the following reasons:

• Is it me or does it crash every other day?  Given all or the unhappy facebook comments, it seems that this is a common happening especially for the "new and improved" website.
• Another complaint of mine is that the website times out when you have been inactive for several minutes.  Like c'mon...so I had to change a diaper while I was in the middle of ordering, or the doorbell rang, etc...did you want the sale Target?  Obviously not.
• Finally, my biggest pet peeve of Target.com...if you are sold out of an item then why show it on the website?  Even if you are out of one size, then don't show that size...why go through all that trouble for me to pick through all the options and then tell me it is "out of stock".

So I have completely strayed from my original intent of this post which was to eliminate the information Target.com collects about you.  We all know nowadays that every website we visit collects information about us to create those "targeted advertisements" that is pretty successful in capturing our attention (at least that is case for me).

Apparently there is a way to opt out of this, and does it actually work?  I have no idea.  But Target.com did provide a link where you can opt out of behavioral advertising (so as it is called) and according to Target's website...I did successfully disabled their website from collecting information about me.

For Those That Love Free Samples

Who doesn't like free things?  I will admit that I like requesting free samples and I get giddy like a little girl on Christmas morning when my sample arrives in the mail (pathetic, isn't it?).  Currently, Walmart has free samples of Poise Pads and Playtex Tampons while Costco is giving out samples of their own Kirkland Signature boy lotion as well as a Dove Ultimate Go Fresh deodorant.  We all know that samples are only available as supplies last so you better hurry before I take them all!  Ha...just kidding.

I'm Just a Girl

I am just a typical girl (and now mom) that is obsessed with fashion.  But now that I do have kids in tow, "fashion(able)" is another f-word that has been eliminated from my vocabulary and life.  With that said, I cannot help but peruse the internet looking for new things to add to my wardrobe...a girl can dream right?

Exhibit A: Salma Hayek

She's a mom and I think this look would be great for Hawaii which is why I absolutely LOVE her outfit!  Most importantly I love her handbag and we all know how much I love Gucci.  I think that bag will get along really well with the other handbags in my closet.

Exhibit B: Miranda Kerr

Another mom and another handbag I have fallen in love with, it even pairs well with a baby in tow!  I have yet to add Prada (or a red bag for that manner) to my collection, so why not kill two birds with one stone?  Now if only I can look as great as Miranda...hmph.

Exhibit C: Pippa Middleton

Who doesn't love Pippa?  I love all three of her outfits pictured above...and the emerald green gown she wore to the royal wedding after party...and the red gown she recently wore to a charity event.  You get the point.  I want her whole wardrobe including accessories, and why not throw in her stylist as well...does she have a stylist?

Well that is all I have for now considering that the little princess is calling for help.  We all know I lack a good portion of motherly instincts most women and girls are blessed with, and I say that only because little princess has somehow come down with her second cold.  Yes, that makes two colds and she is only one month old.  To add to that, I came down with the cold this time around too.  Oh the joys of being a mother!